Please may Oliver be excused from class. His tiny heart is broken.

  My name is Oliver Tate. I suppose it's a bit of an affectation, but sometimes I wish there was a film crew following my every move. I don't quite know what I am yet. I've tried flipping coins, listening exclusively to French crooners, I've even had a brief hat phase, but nothing stuck. My parents have not had sex in 7 months. I've been monitoring their intimacy by the dimmer switch in their bedroom         Jordana Bevins is moderately unpopular. Which makes a romance between the two of us more likely.           My parents are going to the cinema on Thursday. The house is empty on Thursday evening. - If I say yes, does that lessen the chance of you wanting to?          Sincerely, Oliver I was crying earlier. My eyes are probably red. -They look fine. Well, maybe they don't go red when I cry then.       To us. And a wonderful evening of lovemakin'.     Dear Jordana: You're the only person I've allowed to be shrunk down to a microsopic size and swim around inside me in a tiny submersible machine. You're too good for me. You're too good for anyone.     Här om dagen borrade jag och einar ner oss i hans soffa för att kolla på Submarine. Klockren och quirky var ordet, sätt den på era listor om ni inte har gjort det redan.