Til we meet again - Part 5

 He doesn’t answer me. That just fuels my anger. “Why! Why this?” I throw my arms outand my voice climbs in volume. “I was ready! To move on. If we hadjust gone right away there wouldn’t have been a problem. Butinstead of letting me move on in peace, you remind me ofwhat I leave behind. You show me all of the good and then force me toremember those I’ve lost to make sure I know what my husband and mydaughter will feel when they find me tomorrow. I won’t accept it. Ijust will not! I won’t come with you. I am staying right here.Where I’m loved. And needed.” It can’t be over. It simply can’t.How can I move on knowing I will never see him again. How will Ellenreact when her mother is gone? Talk every other day. Fabio and I areinvited to Ellen and her wife’s house on Saturday to celebrate oneof our great-grandchildren's third birthday. Life went by too fast,I’m not ready. I’m not ready! I’m not… “Mommy.” The word spoken by a bright voice givesme pause. I have never heard it before, yet I know exactly who itbelongs to. Ever so slowly I turn around. Where there once was abedroom wall covered in family photographs and children’s paintingsis now a beautiful meadow. In the middle of it stands my mother andfather with their arms around each other's waists. But they are notold and frail like they were when I last saw them. No, they look likeI did when I was little. Next to the stands my brother. Just astanned as when he was home on leave, with messy hair and a big smile.Sitting on his hip, with tiny hands reaching out for me and largenut-brown eyes is Oliver. My son. “Mommy” he repeats and leans forward.I run towards him, but stop dead in my tracks after three steps. “Once I go to him I can never comeback.” It is more of a statement of fact than a question. The man in the pinstriped suit slowlyshakes his head. He has been in the background of every memory Irelived, observing. There to support me had I needed it. “Will I ever see him again?” I putmy hand on Fabio’s shoulder. The man shrugs, but smiles. “You will get through this, my love.And when you are done, we will meet again. And then we’ll haveeternity together.” A tear drops on his chin as I speak. Ibend down and kiss his forehead. For the last time, I breathe in thescent of strawberries and saffron and motor oil. Then I turn around and go to meet my son in the summer meadow.