day 470 - friends, family, fearlessly

So I have not posted anything in over two months and I just wanted to post something here, and thought I would do it in English because I want all my international friends to be able to understand this, and yes I know it sounds obnoxious to some people but I do not care. I just want to thank every single person I have met on this journey this far. I have been singing karaoke in a place where I have also gotten to know some American people, I have been to Chicago, California, Florida, NYC and so many more places, and so many more to see. And all of these could not have happened if I would not have met you any one who is reading this. Even if we went to school together when we were younger, or just in the stables or if you are a family friend. I know a lot of people probably thought I would ever manage to do this probably because I never doubted myself, so some people must have. I knew the day I said yes to R and my family in NJ that I would be here for at least a year. And who would have thought I would learn how to love three people so much my heart can ache, and who knew I coul take care of three kids at the age of eighteen? I bloody didn’t. I have learnt how it feels to get homesickness, something I have never experienced in my life, I have been away from home for Christmas and the second Christmas is coming up. I have gotten the opportunity to learn to love two other individuals and I now see five kids as my own and the only thing I want in my life is the same thing for them that my parents have ever wanted for me and my brother. It is totally madness to think about all of these things, that I could literarily go to almost every continent in the world today and maybe have a place to stay if something would happen. And I will tell you that even if I will live in a small one-bedroom apartment somewhere my door will always be open to all of the family and friends I have gotten to know here over my 15 months here. And even though this has all been amazing and I have gotten all of these amazing friends, that I consider family almost, I cannot wait to be home in October and celebrate my birthday, and go on fall walks in the cold, cold, beautiful Swedish atmosphere because let me tell you, 40 degrees Fahrenheit is not my cup of tea in October, November, and December. Freezing cold is more my thing. With this post I just want to wish everyone a merry Christmas, happy last day of Hanukkah and a happy new year. I hope you all swedes eat some knack formme, drink some glögg and julmust and just hug your relatives wherever you are in the world and tell them you appreciate their presence. I love you all and happy holidays yet again.