Love and Xanax

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I have been in my current relationship for 3 years and engaged for 1 of those. We have completely landed into old married couple’s syndrome: obligatory sex, little affection, and I am so nerve racked around her I got a script for Xanax, to be mellowed out to be around her for fear that I will piss her off. She constantly nags over the dumbest things (towels not hung right and so on). More importantly she is often embarrassed by my actions and she thinks I am too blunt and offensive. I have always been a loud, goofy, fun loving guy who doesn’t really give a shit what anyone else thinks. I am living a double life, I am myself with my friends, with her I am the watered down dull version of me. I get so stressed about this I consider just driving off a bridge or walking into a black panther meeting in a Klan costume. I know the answer is going to be obvious on what to do, but I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. Am I being too stubborn because I want to be myself? Or should I continue to feel like a doormat p**-whipped guy and just work it out? ~Depressed and Despondent~ Dear DAD: The Bitter Single Guy actually thinks that you are being a big giant baby. Heck, didn’t Thoreau say that “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”? Heck if a famous dead poet said it, it must be true, right? Yup…suicidal ideation is part and parcel with being in love and committing yourself to someone else for the rest of your life. Clearly, your subconscious is promoting the idea that since you seem trapped by the ‘til death do us part commitment, then the only way out is death! DAD, the BSG is pulling your leg here because frankly, you had him at Xanax. The day that you had to get medicated in order to handle day-to-day life around your fiancé was the day to pull the plug (the BSG is a fan of physicians who don’t hesitate to prescribe medication where it’s needed, but he also hopes that your doc had a little chat with you about this?). The tough thing is doing what you know (you knew this already) is the right thing to do. The BSG will tell you that there is no easy way to do it other than to do it. Frankly, the BSG recommends sharing the letter you wrote to him with your fiancé; it’s all pretty much in there. Be prepared to feel like a jerk, to feel like you’ve ruined your fiancé’s life. But then be prepared to feel like you’re climbing up out of a dark well while you find that you can get through a day without psychotropic medication. ~BSG~Click the links below if you look for Canadian Dating:Quebec Slave Lake North York Markham YorktonSignals: Mixed, not StirredDear Bitter Single Guy: I recently started dating this guy…I am a tall girl and he is a little bit shorter than me which always seems to pose some threat to men.  We have been dating three weeks and I really like him, but he continually tells me that I’m not the usual type he goes for; but he isn’t mine either.  When we were just talking like on the phone and/or texting we had a real connection but yesterday he said that he wasn’t sure if we had a connection.  He confuses me, I mean I know he loves to hang out with me especially since every time after we hangout he text or calls about how much fun he had and how happy he was to see me.  I am so confused with him…I mean it seems like he really likes me but I def don’t want to hear about other girls thinking he is hot…maybe he just wants to make me think he is wanted and that I am lucky to be with him or something like that.  What do I do about all these mixed signals…I hate games and don’t like when guys play them. ~Getting Mixed Signals~ Dear GMS: Where did you find this gem? He’s told you you’re not his type, told you that you don’t think there’s a connection, and tells you how hot other girls think he is? The reason he’s sending you mixed signals is that he doesn’t have the cojones to actually shit or get off the pot (look that reference up…it’s relevant, the BSG swears). He’s hoping that you’ll dump him because that’s much easier than taking responsibility for himself. Give him what he wants, GMS. Dump his sorry ass until he can figure out how to tell you that he feels a connection with you, he hopes you think he’s hot, and you’re his new type. ~BSG~