They say blood is thicker than water

I’ve been avoiding you, thinking about you, avoiding to empathize because I haven’t been ready for it. Lately I’ve learned that what I’m going through it really nothing compared to what others have gone through. Seeing the life’s that they have makes me somehow question everything. I have to be honest and say that I really miss the kind of relationship I once had with you, even though you hurt me the most, destroyed me to the point that I have to deal with these issues until this day that you’ve created. I once thought I hated you, I still fear you as much as I did, but the most painful feeling that I still can’t avoid is feeling guilty, heartbroken and lost as fuck. I was young and innocent with a loving heart and even though you wanted the best for me you pretty much destroyed the purest inside of me which was trust. And I feel guilty for leaving you all alone in the darkness knowing that you’re screaming out for help. It kills me so much. I’m feeling so damn guilty because I don’t have the control to change things around you, I’m mad because I wasn’t stable enough to make things the right way. I can’t stand looking into your eyes because I really feel that pain and it’s too much for me to even handle being around you, but I really miss you. I miss our night talks, Gran Canary, seeing you happy and hearing you laughing. I’m truly sorry for everything.